Love spells have appeared in different cultures and historical traditions, but modern discussions often raise a more difficult question: Can a spiritual practice influence another person’s feelings without affecting their freedom to choose?
That question matters because love is not simply about attraction. Healthy relationships also involve choice, communication, trust, respect and the ability of each person to make decisions about their own life.
Traditional spiritual practitioners may have different beliefs about what spiritual work can accomplish. However, it is important to distinguish traditional belief from scientific evidence. There is no reliable scientific evidence establishing that a love spell can remove another person’s free will, control their mind or guarantee that they will love a particular person.
Research into romantic relationships provides a different but useful perspective. Studies of relationship autonomy have found associations between autonomy, constructive responses to conflict, and relationship satisfaction.
What Does Free Will Mean in Love?
In everyday language, free will refers to a person’s ability to make choices and act according to their own decisions.
In a romantic relationship, this includes decisions such as:
- whether to enter a relationship
- whether to remain in one
- whether to communicate
- whether to forgive
- whether to rebuild trust
- whether to separate
- whether to pursue someone romantically
This does not mean that people are completely independent of circumstances. Emotions, experiences, family relationships, and social pressures can all influence decisions.
But there is an important distinction between influencing someone’s circumstances and claiming to control their choices.
Do Love Spells Affect Free Will?
This is one of the most controversial questions surrounding love spells.
Different spiritual traditions have different beliefs about spiritual influence. Some practitioners describe rituals as ways of encouraging attraction, reconciliation, harmony or emotional openness.
Those beliefs should be understood within their cultural and spiritual context.
They should not, however, automatically be presented as scientific facts.
There is currently no reliable scientific evidence demonstrating that a love spell can override another person’s free will or reliably force a particular romantic decision.
Relationship research instead provides evidence that autonomy matters within romantic relationships. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found associations between relationship autonomy, responses to conflict, and satisfaction following disagreements.
A broader review of self-determination theory and romantic relationships likewise examines how autonomy and self-determination relate to relationship functioning.
Useful external resource:
PubMed — Self-Determination and Conflict in Romantic Relationships
Seeking Love Is Different From Controlling Someone
There is an important ethical difference between seeking help with your own romantic life and trying to control another person’s decisions.
For example, someone might seek spiritual guidance because they:
- want to become more open to love
- hope to repair a damaged relationship
- want help processing a breakup
- want to strengthen an existing relationship
- feel emotionally stuck
- want to understand their own romantic situation
These goals are different from asking someone to:
- make another person obsessed with you
- force someone to love you
- prevent someone from leaving
- control another person’s mind
- make someone behave against their wishes
HerbalHealer’s approach is based on the principle that spiritual guidance should not be presented as a guaranteed method of removing another person’s choices.
What About Getting an Ex Back?
This is where the question of free will becomes particularly important.
After a breakup, it is understandable to hope that a former partner will return.
But the other person still has their own feelings, circumstances, and decisions.
Research on romantic relationships has examined the role of autonomy in how partners respond to disagreements and how satisfied they feel within relationships.
A 2025 study also found an association between autonomy within romantic relationships and relationship satisfaction across daily and longer-term measurements.
That does not prove or disprove spiritual beliefs about reconciliation. It does highlight something important: a lasting relationship involves two people’s participation, not simply one person’s desire.
For this reason, responsible reconciliation guidance should focus on possibilities such as communication, understanding, emotional readiness and relationship circumstances rather than promises of controlling an ex-partner.
Love Spells and Consent
Consent is especially important when discussing romantic relationships.
A person should be free to decide:
- whom they date
- whom they marry
- whether they continue a relationship
- whether they want physical or emotional intimacy
- whether they want to communicate
- whether they want to reconcile
Spiritual practice should not be used as an excuse for harassment, stalking, threats or attempts to circumvent someone’s clearly expressed boundaries.
A practitioner who tells a client that they can guarantee control over another person is making a claim that deserves considerable caution.
Can Spiritual Practice and Free Will Coexist?
People who practise or believe in spirituality may answer this question differently.
Some view spiritual work as a way of influencing circumstances, encouraging harmony, removing perceived obstacles or supporting personal intentions.
Others understand spiritual practice primarily as a way of reflecting on their own intentions and actions.
These are matters of spiritual belief and cultural interpretation.
From an evidence-based perspective, however, claims about controlling another person’s behaviour require evidence. Traditional use alone does not establish that a claimed effect occurs reliably.
The World Health Organization’s current traditional-medicine strategy emphasizes the importance of evidence, safety, appropriate regulation and respect for cultural heritage when evaluating traditional and complementary practices.
Useful external resource:
WHO — Global Traditional Medicine Strategy 2025–2034
African Spiritual Traditions and Love
African spirituality is not a single, uniform belief system.
The continent contains many cultures, languages, communities and spiritual traditions. Ideas concerning relationships, ancestors, healing, ritual and spiritual practice can therefore differ significantly between communities.
When discussing African spiritual approaches to love, it is better to speak about particular traditions and practitioners rather than suggesting that all African spiritual traditions share exactly the same beliefs.
This distinction is especially important for HerbalHealer because Carlos Mukuru’s practice comes from his own Ugandan cultural and family tradition.
How Carlos Mukuru Approaches Love-Related Spiritual Work
Carlos Mukuru approaches consultations by first listening to the person’s situation.
He considers:
- what the person is experiencing
- what they hope to achieve
- the circumstances surrounding the relationship
- whether he believes he can genuinely assist
- what type of spiritual work, if any, may be appropriate
If he does not believe he can help, his approach is to say so rather than promise an outcome.
Carlos also does not present his work as a way to guarantee that another person will become obsessed, surrender their free will or behave in a particular way.
His practice is based on traditional African spiritual beliefs and should be understood as spiritual guidance, rather than as scientifically established relationship control.
Learn more about Carlos:
About Carlos Mukuru.
What Should You Do If Someone Says They Can Guarantee Control?
Be cautious.
Claims such as:
“I can control their mind.”
“They will definitely come back.”
“I can make them obsessed with you.”
“They will have no choice but to return.”
are very different from a practitioner explaining that a spiritual practice is part of a traditional belief system.
A responsible practitioner should be able to explain:
- What the service involves.
- What you are paying for.
- Who performs the work.
- Whether additional payments may be required.
- What happens if the practitioner believes they cannot help.
- What the practitioner can and cannot promise.
You should also be wary of anyone using fear or threats to pressure you into paying more money.
For more guidance, see:
How to Avoid Spiritual Scams: 15 Warning Signs to Watch For
Spiritual Guidance Does Not Replace Practical Action
Spiritual practice and practical relationship work do not necessarily have to be treated as opposites.
If two people want to repair their relationship, practical steps may include:
- honest communication
- listening to each other
- establishing boundaries
- addressing recurring conflicts
- rebuilding trust
- discussing expectations
- seeking relationship counselling where appropriate
The American Psychological Association identifies communication as an important part of maintaining healthy relationships.
Further reading:
American Psychological Association — Healthy Relationships
So, Can Love Spells Control Free Will?
There is no reliable scientific evidence establishing that love spells can remove another person’s free will or guarantee control over their romantic decisions.
Traditional spiritual practitioners and believers may interpret spiritual practices differently, and those beliefs deserve to be understood in their cultural context.
At the same time, belief, tradition, and scientific evidence are three different things.
Traditional belief
What a particular spiritual tradition or practitioner believes a practice can do.
Historical evidence
Evidence that a ritual, belief, or practice existed and was used by people.
Scientific evidence
Systematic research designed to determine whether a claimed effect occurs reliably.
Keeping these categories separate allows people to explore spirituality without confusing cultural tradition with scientific proof.
Thinking About Love-Related Spiritual Guidance?
If you are considering spiritual guidance about love, reconciliation or a relationship, start with your actual situation rather than a promise of a particular outcome.
Ask questions.
Understand what you are paying for.
Be cautious of guarantees.
And remember that another person has their own choices and boundaries.
If you’d like to discuss your situation with Carlos Mukuru, use the WhatsApp button at the bottom-right of the page to start a private conversation.
Sources & Further Reading
- PubMed — Self-Determination and Conflict in Romantic Relationships
- PubMed — Self-Determination Theory and Romantic Relationship Processes
- PubMed — Being Me While Loving You: The Role of Autonomy in Relationship Satisfaction
- American Psychological Association — Healthy Relationships
- WHO — Global Traditional Medicine Strategy 2025–2034
- WHO — Traditional Medicine Questions & Answers
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→ [Moving On After a Breakup]
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