5 Ways To Overcome Jealousy and Possessiveness.
Jealous in a relationship is a one-way ticket to a toxic one and the end result could be a break up or divorce.
Have you ever found yourself battling feelings of jealousy and possessiveness? You probably have but with no idea what those feelings were. As a result, people with jealousy or possessiveness tend to be very defensive not only to themselves but also to their friends, family, or partners.
In fact, these two major factors are very instrumental in the destruction of romantic relationships. In addition, being aware of your behaviors, and taking action to change is half the battle! After that, practicing the strategies listed below can help you overcome these negative feelings allowing you to enjoy healthy relationships
What are the signs of Jealousy in a Relationship?
The most common symptoms of a jealous person are a huge inferiority complex and selfishness. While we might see a jealous person as selfish, we may not be able to recognize that he has an inferiority complex. This is because the masks it with a show of confidence.
On the other hand, when you are in a relationship especially when it is still in its infancy, these symptoms are embedded in the feelings. Additionally, even if one finds out that the partner has some jealousy or selfishness, it is normally not easy to bring it forward. This is mostly due to the fact that the relationship is still new hence the fear to mess it up.
Most noteworthy, selfishness rears its ugly head when your lover shows even the mildest interest in someone or something else besides you. Furthermore, you resent not being the center of attention and jealousy finally seizes you. At such times, you won’t care about anyone else’s welfare but your own.
In the event that you have feelings like these, it’s very important that you realize they point to jealousy
Here Is a Quick Test of Selfishness
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I willing to return the favor?
- Am I willing to allow a similar privilege?
If your answers to the above test are negative, then you’re probably being selfish.
The challenge for you, if you’re jealous, is to overcome your feelings of inferiority and excessive need for approval.
Envy vs. Jealousy
These terms tend to confuse many people. However, envy and jealousy are two different emotions. First of all, Envy is when you wish you could do as well as the other person. But when you’re jealous, you want to be the only person who’s doing well. Therefore, the jealous person always wants to deprive the other of his success.
On the other hand, envy can be a positive thing when you use it properly. It can help you to improve yourself and your circumstances
What is Possessiveness?
Unlike Envy, with possessiveness, there’s no third person involved. It makes you feel worthless unless someone loves you and actually proves it by showering you with their complete attention.
Both jealousy and possessiveness spring from the same source: an overwhelming need for love and approval in a relationship
What Are the Solutions To overcome jealousy and possessiveness?
In the event that you possess these characteristics, it doesn’t necessarily imply that you are bound to be like that forever. There are some techniques that you can use to reduce or completely eliminate these negative feelings. In fact, with a little practice, you can be on your way to enjoying your relationship without being bothered with jealousy and possessiveness.
Find below some tips that can help you overcome these feelings:
- Accept yourself. First of all, you have to put in your mind first is ..Nobody is perfect! No matter how perfect a person may seem to you, they have some flaws. Secondary, you don’t need to be perfect to be worthwhile, or loved in order to prove you’re worthy. Therefore, there is no reason why you should allow others to judge your worth? Even if they have PhDs in the subject they still shouldn’t judge you.
- Be kind to yourself. When you face challenges or a breakup in your relationship, self-blame leads to guilt and feelings of inferiority. If appropriate, blame your actions, but not Avoid indulging in self-pity, instead count your blessings and you’ll feel more worthy right away.
- Believe in change. You might think that jealousy and possessiveness are an intrinsic part of you that cannot be changed. However, you only have to consider people who stop smoking or become vegetarians to realize that change is If they can change, so can you!
- No one can own anyone. It’s common for lovers to fancy that they “belong” to each other. This is one of the most dangerous beliefs of the jealous and possessive person. No matter how much you’ve sacrificed for your lover, you simply mustn’t think of them as you would your car or house.
- If they want to leave, let them go. There’s no point in caging someone who doesn’t care for you any longer. There can be no harmony in such a relationship. All you can do is hope and pray for a change of heart.
- Cultivate a hobby. Those who make another person the center of their lives are naturally jealous and possessive. One sure-fire way to stop centering your life on your lover is to develop an interest of your own.
- Polish your skills in your hobby, and you’ll notice you’re no longer obsessed with your relationship. That’s because you’re passionate about something other than your lover.
In the event that you’re jealous and possessive, use these strategies to build your sense of self-worth and learn to see things as they really are. As a result, you’ll find your relationships blossoming into beauty and joy! On the contrary, if you implement the above solutions are you still don’t see change, then you need spiritual help. As humans, we are surrounded by energies that are either positive or negative. As you can imagine, positive attracts positive things and negative does the opposite.
If you can’t see any change and you still jealousy in a relationship then Dr. Carlos Mukuru would be more than happy to help you.